Saturday, November 21, 2009

Craigslist Ad

So, this is the ad I'm dying to post on Craigslist.

Feedback is welcome.

"Free to good home. Three children. Two girls, one boy. Must be taken as a group. They are adorably cute. They will make you laugh. Insomniacs preferrable. The girls will wake up 3-4 times a night. EACH. That means that you get to enjoy their adorable cuteness 6-8 times per night. The boy will wake up at 5:20 a.m. so you get a maximum amount of his cuteness too. It is probably best if you are lactose intolerant, because the girls have a dairy sensitivity, so you won't be able to eat any. In addition to that, you will also have to cut out Dr. Pepper and flavored coffee. Little Lu thinks it makes your milk taste like mud and will refuse to eat as a result. But, she will be starving so you'll also get to enjoy her innate ability to scream at a unfathomable volume. Jill loves being held and protests if you *ever* set her down. Often, these two things happen in unison. So, if you are also deaf, that would be great too. Please contact Jeannett for more information."

Basically, I've decided that the best person for my kids is a deaf, lactose intolerant insomniac.

Any takers?

I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids....breathe....

(oh, and in case you were wondering, no it's not the caffeine in the Dr. Pepper or the's the flavoring...really...the kid is a freak...)


Mama Mote said...

Don't forget to add pictures. How can ANYone resist those adorable faces????

I'm lactose intolerant, would probably become deaf soon after letting them into my house, and I do go to bed at 1:00am or so and wake up again when hubby gets up at 3:00 or 3:30am to get off to work by 5:00am (sometimes get back to sleep, but probably not with three kids).

THIS TOO SHALL PASS (eventually)! And you will miss them.

Mary Kay said...

I'm answering your ad. I will take them!

joy said...

i'd seriously dare you to post that but i think cps would get involved. too bad. seriously, i'm sorry things are really hard right now. did you look into the ergo for jill? so you can just wear her? have henry watch tv in the morning. you can break that habit later on. it's all about survival with sanity in tact at this point. he likes tv, right? no suggestions on the soda/coffee thing. sorry.

Joanie said...

Hi. I saw your ad in Craig's list, and I'm very interested. I have a few questions for you.

#1 Do they come from a non-smoking home?

# Was there a price? I didn't see one listed...I was thinking maybe I could do oh, somewhere around priceless. I could maybe reach for untold wealth, but that would be stretching my budget a bit.

Seriously, I am sorry it's so intense right now. Listen to Joy about survival - she's very wise.

Mommy Laity said...

Ya, been there. Felt that. And I only have two. I'm so glad you are brave enough to post about this. I was too worried about being judged. You know the whole kids are a gift not a burden thing? Ya well, sometimes it would be nice to gift someone else with them. =)

It's at this point that a realize our society is broken. It's at this point that I almost wish I lived in a little indian village where my parents lived next door and my grandparents lived next to that and my sister and her kids were just across common ground. People would hear the screaming and just come help.

This is hard. Really hard. I'm glad you're figuring some of this stuff out because no Dr. Pepper has got to be better than a screaming kid, right?

Love you.

Kristen said...

Jeannett, when would you say is the last time you've had a full night's sleep?? I remember you had trouble during the pregnancy w/ that rash & whatnot, so i'm thinking it had to be before you got pregnant even? Oh man, i feel for ya, i really do!

Jeannett Gibson said...'s been a while. I struggle with insomnia when I'm pregnant (which is one of the reasons I really don't like being pregnant), so basically, I'm going on about 13 months of not getting a full uninterrupted night of sleep at this point. Which is really why I'm getting so stinking's just been a really. long. time.

Janice Phillips said...

Definitely praying for you! Would love to do coffee sometime.

Dena said...

I read this post while I was still pg or had very newborns and while I did LOL, I didn't APPRECIATE it and totally GET it. Now, I can get it better than I would like. It's soo perfect. We could be great friends if only we lived close....and actually knew each other. Love your sense of humor, sometimes it is the only thing that gets you through the day.