Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I just can't imagine


So, without going into the social debate about having 19 kids, the Duggars just fascinate me. I am certainly not equipped to be a mama to so many, but they seem to do it all pretty well.

Anyway, not the point.

I was thinking the other day just how much work newborns are.

And with so little return on your investment.

Sure they are cute and cuddly and squishy...but that's about it.

At least with older kids they laugh and play and do silly things that crack you up. It reminds you why the crazy days and messes are worth it.

Don't get me wrong: I love my kids and I know I am infinitely blessed to get to experience the newborn stage. Many people don't. But honestly...I'm not a huge fan of it. It's probably my least favorite part of mothering...so far. (check in again when they are 15...I may change my mind!)

But in general, it's work, work, work...exhaustion, sleepless nights, poop, bloody nipples, and more poop.

And what do you get back?

Nothing.

Well, you know what I mean.

So it got me thinking about Michelle Duggar: How not only has she been pregnant 19+ times (she is a much better woman than I!...I don't even want to do it a THIRD time!), but she has gone through the newborn stage over and over and over again!

I just can't imagine. Craziness.

Am I the only person who really doesn't love the newborn days?

And as a side note, is it a bit creepy that she's pregnant at the same time as her daughter in law? I remember when I was pregnant with Henry...both my mom and my mother in law had just gotten re-married...and I told them both: "Look, I don't care what you do with your life...but can you please not be pregnant at the same time as me? It's just a bit too weird..."


LuLu started smiling the last couple of days, and it's amazing how much a difference that makes for me! I have so much more patience suddenly!

10 comments:

Kristen said...

When i saw the subject of your post - "I just can't imagine-" I thought perhaps you were refering to that woman's horrendous hairstyle. Sorry i couldn't help myself. :) I have heard of that family before but didn't know she was expecting...again. I can't imagine either.

Diana Fabricio said...

i thought the same thing! about her hair style!

Joanie said...

Okay...just where are these pictures of Lucy smiling? I know, sometimes it's hard to have the camera out at just the right moment, but we'll love to see it when you capture it!

You're not alone on the newborn thing. I love it, my mother-in-law loves it; my mom doesn't and some other friends don't. Everybody has their passion.

Mike and Rachel said...

I would totally do the newborn stage again if it wasn't for the toddler stage that follows... My rule/structure/order personality works well for infants, not so much for the 2 and 3 year olds who want to win more than be loved.

Brianna Heldt said...

Personally, I've long been fascinated by her body's ability to bear so many children! It's seriously remarkable. Most women who don't prevent pregnancy max out at about 8-10 kids. (I'll only be 44 when Anna's the age I was when she was born, and so it's possible that we could both be pregnant at once. It's like Father of the Bride 2!)

I must confess I love newborns. I don't love being tired, or waking up multiple times at night, BUT there's something really magical about those early months. (And I know in my head that self-sacrifice is good for me, even if it's not easy.)

People tell me they can't imagine having MY life (which is weird to me, b/c it's not that big a deal). But I think if they shared my worldview, it wouldn't seem foreign to them. And it's probably the same with the Duggars.

I'm with Joanie, I think everyone probably has their favorite phases. I love them all, though I think each brings its own challenges and joys!!!!!

Tracy Regusci said...

I second Brianna statements. Add will add that I adore the newborn stage. I can not imagine ever being done being pregnant or having little babies around.

Mommy Laity said...

I'm SO right there with you! I LOVE LOVE LOVE other people's newborns. But I have a really hard time with sleep deprivation and nursing totally drains me.
I agree that smiling makes a big difference, but there is something wonderful that happens when they learn how to sit on their own. They are so happy and that makes me so happy. I love the stages from 6 months to about 2 1/2.

Talking about not getting anything back from them, that's something I wish I could communicate to all those teenage girls out there who want babies so someone will love them. They don't! Babies/kids NEED you, but they don't love you. There is no selflessness or self sacrifice from them. They need and as a mom you provide because you love THEM. Motherhood is a job that demands from you and gives very little back.
Like Brianna said, self-sacrifice is a gift from Jesus to make us more like Him. But that doesn't make it fun.
Sometimes I do wish someone else could do it for me. That probably isn't Kosher to say but if I'm being honest, it's true.

Kelly and Jason said...

Long time Lurker- first time commenter, I am amazed by the Duggars, I would NEVER choose to live like that, but I am impressed by how semi-normal they are. Beyond that, I totally agree that the newborn stage was not my favorite, I love other people's newborns, but had a really hard time bonding and enjoying mine until he started to smile and interact. He is 18 months now and I am LOVING it!

jenny said...

Oh I can't tell you how much guilt I felt for HATING the newborn stage. I mean, of course, I loved my daughter... but I didn't realize how much I disliked it 'til she became mobile (crawling) and interacted with me and I LOVED that! I would totally have another baby RIGHT NOW except that giving birth freaks me out and the first 6 months seem SO daunting. But, maybe that's because my baby was super colicky and had trouble eating. Who knows? Maybe I'll love the next one!?

Jilse said...

I didn't like the newborn stage at all. Underlines and bolded if I knew how to do that on here. My girls both had reflux and it made their newborn stage like a million times worse. The crying never stopped with my second daughter, not until she was 6 months old and on reflux medicine that actually worked, and then OMG she could actually smile? Who knew. I could go on and on but suffice it to say newborns were NOT, nor will they ever be, my forte.