Wednesday, January 6, 2010

So How Do You Like It? - Part 1

"How are you? How's life with twins?....

So, how do you like being home full time? Do you miss work?"

That's pretty much the beginning to most conversations lately.

I don't miss working.

I don't miss rushing around getting ready. I don't miss being away from home so much.

Don't get me wrong. Being home all day is tough work.

There is NO sitting around eating bon-bons, watching Oprah or even that clean of a house....

I remember thinking "Gee, if I was a SAHM (stay at home mom) my house would be SO much cleaner!" But that's actually the exact opposite. It's not so much about having the TIME to clean, but the fact is that someone is ALWAYS home. There is hardly any time at all where the house is empty. It isn't like when you work and the house sits empty for 10-11 hours per day. There are 3 meals a day being prepared and who knows how many snacks being eaten. I mop my kitchen about 3-4 times a week and it still always looks like it needs mopped. Putting away toys is a losing battle. If he's not napping or eating...he's playing. As for deep know, scrubbing toilets and showers...ugh. When exactly is it that I have 4 solid uninterrupted hours to be up to my elbows in bleach and Tilex???? Riiiiight. Swish the toilet more gross grow-y things...good enough...

I'm certainly less harried. I don't feel so rushed and strained. I don't feel like I'm being pulled in so many different directions. I feel more....FOCUSED. That doesn't mean I feel all relaxed and, you been to my house lately???

No, it just means that when I was working I always felt like I wasn't being a very good mom nor was I being a very good employee. Too many places to be, not enough hours in the day. Now, I may not be the perfect mom and my house may not be as clean as I like, but I at least don't feel so dang...RUSHED. I feel like I can at least focus on being a mom and wife...that doesn't mean I do it brilliantly, but at least I can make an honest effort at it.

I think the best way to sum up how I felt when I worked full time (outside the house!), was that I felt like I was in perpetual SURVIVAL MODE. I was just trying to make it from one weekend to the next. One work day to the other.

Get up, get dressed, drop off at daycare, work all day, meetings, pick up, take a sick day, soothe screaming kid, make dinner, do dishes, sniff that load of laundry still in the washer...husband? oh what is that you wanted? HA! Silly boy...A for effort, but

Life was a crazy whirlwind. It was just. too. much. I wasn't doing a good job at much of anything. I was just doing good enough. Just good enough to not have CPS called and just good enough to not get fired and maybe even work in a small raise.

I know lots of moms who thrive on working full time. I know moms who know that they are BETTER moms for working outside the home. I don't think that being a SAHM is for everyone. I don't think it's the ONLY way to parent. I don't think that choosing to work makes you a bad mom. Everyone is different. Everyone comes to the table with a very different set of circumstances. I just know that for ME and MY wasn't right.

I have lots more to say on this topic. I'll just have to break it up into separate posts or it'll be waaay too long.

Stay tuned.


Katie&Greg said...

Hi Jeannett,

You have no idea who I am (:) ) but I came across your blog by just clicking "next blog" at the top of the page. I have been a follower ever since! I truly enjoy your blogs. They make me laugh most of the time. This one really hit home. Granted, I never tried working outside the home after my daughter was born, but I think I can relate to it because I KNOW this is how I would feel.
Good for you for sticking to your gut on what you know is right for you and your family.

Look forward to reading more posts.


Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Those babies are so precious!

And you don't sit around eating bon-bons?! That's what SAHM's are supposed to do! You're missing out... ;-)

Denissa said...

Hi Jeannett,
I drop in every now & then from Joy's blog. The girls are getting so big! They are beautiful :)
I totally agree, and thanks for validating how your house seems messier when you're home! Somedays I give up, others I fight it usually about every 14-18dys (ya, know when the lovely pms sets in ;)
But over the summer I came to the conclusion that do I want the kids to remember me nagging constantly to pick up.Or do I want them to remember that I left dishes in the sink and played a game with them, or cuddled on the couch?

(my family blog is private I would love to add you so that you can see my crazy threesome!)
Email me @, if you would like me to add you.