Brain Disconnect

So, all these posts about last night's thunderstorms has got me thinking. (Dangerous, I know).

As I've mentioned before, and most of you know, I am utterly terrified of thunder. Yes, the noise thunder. And when I say scared, I mean that I shake and just about panic. The thing is that if there were anything I should actually be afraid of, would be lightning, right? After all, that's what could actually do damage and maybe even kill you. But, it's not the lightning I'm afraid of. Intellectually I know that thunder is nothing but the delayed sound of lightning. That it can't hurt you, that it is actually kind of cool when you think about it. Yet, I still lay in bed in terror every time. I'm a grown woman for goodness sake! And, I worry that I'm gonna freak out my kids. How can I keep them calm and not have them be scared, if their own mother is pale and clammy herself?

Another place that my brain has disconnected from reality is with Henry. I have an incredibly difficult time connecting that he is the little being that was inside my tummy only two months ago. I cannot put together the little kicks during my pregnancy with his tiny toes and (sort of) chubby legs. The pieces just won't fit together. Again, intellectually, I know this to be the case. But somehow, I just cannot put the two together. I remember even thinking that way immediately after his birth. When they handed him to me at the hospital, still bloody and wrinkled, I distinctly remember thinking "This came out of me. But it doesn't feel like it. It feels more like he just kind of got handed to me." And so it is. For all intents and purposes in my mind, Henry was just handed to me from some cosmic baby factory in the sky. My pregnancy and his existence are two totally separate events. And you know what else? I feel like I was pregnant like a million years ago. It doesn't seem like only 9 short weeks ago that I was the size of a house. Kind of like high school memories, you know? Like, it's almost a foggy far away time...totally weird.

So, where does your brain disconnect? Do you have any irrational beliefs, fears or otherwise totally illogical ways of thinking (or not)? Maybe you're all just normal and I'm the complete weirdo...likely the case.