All has been moving along smoothly, my exhaustion is all but a distant memory, and the nausea is completely gone. Today I am officially 15 weeks. Second Trimester! Woohoo! 1 down, 2 to go!
I told Andy this morning that I was tired of being pregnant. If we're gonna have a baby, can't it just come out now, rather than wait all this time? It's like a long, drawn out melodramatic scene in a movie. Let's just cut to the chase already! I then went on to tell him that the gestation period for a dog is only 63 days. I'd be done by now. He informed me that dogs also only live 12 years, so we probably should be thankful for the longer pregnancy period. He has his moments, I'll admit it. Someone else pointed out that for elephants, its two years. It shut me up pretty quickly.
It's not so much that I hate being pregnant (although you would think so if you've been reading my blog), but I am certainly not one of those women who gushes about how pregnancy was the best time in their lives...and how they feel better pregnant than when they're not...those women should be shot. I find that they are also the same women who are still a size 2, except of course for the perfect basketball belly they tout under their adorable fitted shirts...you know, the ones that aren't even maternity...they're just a size medium in the regular department.
Again, I don't exactly hate being pregnant. I just don't like it. I don't eat much (if any) more than before, yet my body has been hording every calorie and applying it to my ever expanding rear end as if the next great famine is coming. Today I was an emotional trainwreck. Which took me by surprise, because other than a few moments of irrationality here and there, I really haven't been too bad...or at least not for multiple hours on end. But today it was quite the waterworks. It started when I walked in the room after getting ready for church, and told Andy that I looked pregnant today. I abruptly began sobbing. "News flash dear, you ARE..." And so, I cried even more. Why? I have no idea. I just did. Then, someone at church told me I looked cute. I started crying again. Someone else walked up and asked why I was crying. I cried more. My pastor walked up and said "Hey mama, how's it going?" I burst out in tears. He told me to buy a book called Surrending to Motherhood, because as he said "that's what you're going through right now". I'm not sure that was why I happened to be a spaz this morning in particular, but I do think that if I'm honest, I'm going to have to deal with.
We are going to be somebody's parents. Let's face it, who's parents are cool? We're going to have a car seat in the back. There's now a whole section in department stores I can no longer shop in, or I'll just look stupid instead of cute. Now, when I get the sudden urge to listen to rap, it's going to be incredibly dorky (not to mention highly inappropriate if the little one is in the car!).
Anyway, the baby pooch is beginning to protrude. I still looks a little more like I've been supersizing everything, but slowly, it's looking like baby belly. I am still much too vain to take a picture. Give me another month when it's clear that it's a baby and not just cheesy poofs, and I'll post one.
1 year ago
5 comments:
I love hearing about happy marriages, it's a pleasant change for me...
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I really think motherhood (just like so much in life) is ultimately what you make of it. You don't have to start buying your clothes at old-lady stores, for example. :) (Though if you do, we can still be friends.)
Personally I think it's hard to be comfortable with our identity no matter what stage of life we're at. Well it is for me anyway. What God tells me my identity should be is so different than what society says. And I want to find joy and fulfillment in where God has me. The reason that's sometimes hard for me is usually because I'm buying into some idea that's not true, or because I'm wanting to impress people--bummer. Wishing I didn't fall into that but luckily God isn't finished with me yet.
I also don't enjoy being pregnant in the sense you described. People who do are just plain nuts! :)
poor girl. you'll get through it. i felt horrible being pregnant (but i am one who loved the idea of being pregnant, so it was mostly okay). the waterworks are always a mystery, and it's so hard to feel so out of control of your emotions. guess what, after the pregnacy you'll have a while before your hormones are back to normal. so, while surrending to motherhood, submit yourself to the idea that, no, you really are never going to be the same. but guess what, it really, truly is so incredibly worth it. you will always be jeannett, but you'll be so much prouder of the fact that you will be so-and-so's mother.
and tell andy to be nice to you. we will all sympathize with him (oh, poor guy, he has to deal with a crazy pregnant wife), but in then end, you're job is harder. remind him of that daily. :)
Oh Jeanette...that was one of the most honest and "keeping it real" statements I've heard in a long time. But guess what, you are still you once you have a baby - Jeff and I still drive down the road in the "minivan" and laugh secretly that really we are parents. At heart I still feel like a kid, and I think I always will (hopefully) even though we have a lot more bills to pay. You will do great especially if your not afraid to admit that it is difficult. Its not always "unicorns and rainbows" as a friend of mine says.
Enjoy this time, it is really the only time you can sufficently blame being crazy with hormones on something the guys can relate to. have a great day!
Jen
ps have you got enough motherly advice yet! wait till the baby comes:)
I recognize that phrase! The book really is great. Susie and I have been thinking about what it means to Surrender to Parenthood for 10 years. Still working on it. . .
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