Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Crack

I have a confession to make.

I have an addiction.

It's bad.

It's like my own personal crack.

I carry it around constantly.

Can't leave the house without it.

Yesterday I couldn't find it for about fifteen minutes and I thought I was going to have an all out panic attack.

I need a "hit" at least once an hour...every hour...around the clock.

Yes, even in the nighttime hours.




This rash is UN.REAL. If I could take a vegetable peeler to my belly and remove my skin...I totally would.

Except that that would be gross.

I can deal with the discomfort of this huge belly.

I can deal with the aches and pains.

But this rash has me seriously ready for the loony bin.

It covers my ginormous belly, the backs of my hands, the tops of my feet and in between my toes! The itching is relentless and intense isn't even a good enough word...

At my OB appointment this morning, one of the other midwives (the "old" one...who's been doing this for 25+ years) came in to get something out of the room...and saw my angry red belly and said "Wow...I think that's the worst case of PUPPS I've ever seen!"

Because that's how I roll.

Go big or go home, right?

So, when my midwife asked about induction, I very reluctantly agreed to set a date.

I may end up cancelling it, but to be honest, I just don't know how I can go on much longer with this rash. I haven't slept in two days and I can hardly function because of the itching.

I had her strip my membranes in hopes of helping speeding things along a little bit more naturally...but if I don't go into labor on my own...and presuming I don't cancel the date...I'm scheduled to go into the hospital at 4:00 on Sunday afternoon.

I'm really disappointed in myself. I really didn't want to induce. I feel selfish. Like, I can't just "man-up" enough to put up with things for the sake of my girls. It makes me sad that I'm even ON the schedule. I don't know. We'll see. I may end up cancelling it altogether...

Maybe I can have the girls today?! 07/08/09! Yeah right...that would be too easy!

9 comments:

lynette said...

Uh, in case you hadn't already noticed, things are kinda out of YOUR control, my dear. YOU have done an AWESOME job of cooking those girls...who would have thought that you would still be carrying them at 38 weeks?? Good that they did what they did today and maybe it wil move things forward! Think positive! That would be an awesome birthday!

Joanie said...

Jeannett, you are a superstar. I felt bad for complaining about my stuff, and there you were, so encouraging, when I KNEW you were feeling miserable.

Both times I had very reluctantly set dates for induction and both times God took care of it and sent me into labor on my own.

Take Jenny's advice with the curb walking - one foot on the curb, one on the street. That plus the membrane stripping might do the trick!

My friend had pupps - m.i.s.e.r.y.
Praying for you!

Jilse said...

I totally understand not wanting to be induced. I was terrified about being induced with my second daughter because I had an awful induction with my first daughter. I tried every thing I could think of to start labor naturally. He stripped my membranes which hurt like nothing else, but it didn't start anything. And finally I went in and I was induced. And it was totally cake compared to the first time. Sure I still wish my girls had come on their own terms, but the fact was that they both came out healthy, and really that's all any Momma could really ask for.

Brianna Heldt said...

ugh i am SO sorry!!! that rash sounds AWFUL, i can't even imagine. and i totally relate to wanting to avoid induction if you can, i feel the same way. (especially since doctors want to do it so much these days.) BUT, you're doing a GREAT job, and sometimes induction is necessary. i know you'll make the right decision and in the meantime i'll be praying that those sweet babies decide to make an appearance soon!

Lisa Lewis said...

Oh Jeannett, I am so sorry for your discomfort! You are a real trooper though. Just think that these sweet girls have had all their developmental milestones taken care of inside! What a huge (bigger than your belly!) praise! So many twins don't get that done and then have issues throughout life. Not your girls! No sir!
Now on to the things that helped my first one come without med assistance: mexican food--very spicy! Walking on the beach, which is like curb walking in a sense. Then watching a belly laughing movie. All those made me go into labor at about the same time you are now.
For more fun--heard that nipple stim speeds contraction induction!

Praying for you and the fam!

Kristen said...

oh man, i'm so sorry! you are so tough, so don't ever think that you aren't even if you have to induce labor. you've done some amazing things for these girls!! and you will continue to do amazing things for them!

i will pray that everything kicks in naturally and VERY soon so you can have relief. praise God you made it so long--well passed the safety dates!

and even if things don't go how you planned, remember nothing went according to plan with henry, and look at how amazing and absolutely perfect he is!

gina said...

you are not selfish... you've held them in this far and have done a fabulous job. try the charcoal, seriously, try it...

Serenity Now said...

You are so not selfish - that rash was pure agony for me, and I wasn't even carrying twins! Did they say that the rash will go away upon delivery? The only thing that got rid of mine was predisone (a pill - a dangerous pill - but I didn't care cause i was ready to peel my skin off too after 2 weeks of no relief). They must have given me 5 different prescription creams that didn't work...it was awful.
I'm supremely sorry that you are going through this at all on top of just being so pregnant with two babies. You are one tough chickadee! Those girls already have the best mama in town. I say do what you've gotta do and don't for a minute think you're being selfish - you're miserable, and you're not sleeping well...you must have made them pretty darn comfy in there!

Mama Mote said...

Jeannett - you are such a trooper, girl! You will make the best decisions you need to bring these little girls into this world. And God will be there for you. Will be praying for you and your rash and that the babes come quickly. Love you guys.