Saturday, February 7, 2009

Broken

We went to a wedding today and I got to catch up with the pastor who did our marriage counseling. He's moved on to a different church, so we hadn't seen him in about three years. Anyway, after chatting for a few minutes and informing him of the latest Gibson news, he turned back around in the pew and said "Oh, and by the way, don't believe people when they say 'God only gives you what you can handle!' because it is JUST NOT TRUE!" I laughed and said "Seriously. I always want to say, well if that's the case, there has been a mistake because he got the wrong girl!"

We went on to talk about it a little more, and it really got me thinking. God doesn't give us what we can handle. He gives us more than we can. Because if life is comfortable we have no reason to call out to Him. It isn't until we have nothing to rely on that we finally rely on Him. We all need to be broken, we need to be pushed, we need to NEED God. Some of the sweetest, truest prayers come when we are most desparate. Not the contrite prayers we so often whisper in our cozy beds at night...but the ones where we unabashedly cry out to the Lord, knowing that He is our only hope.

So, while I appreciate people being our own personal cheerleaders, I think today's chat was so good for me. It reminded me that I SHOULD feel overwhelmed. I SHOULD feel bewildered. But I should also feel loved and blessed and luckier than I could have ever dreamed to be. I have a wonderful husband, a sweet little boy, two precious babies growing inside me, and a God that loves me more than all of them combined. I could not have imagined a better life. I could not have penned a better storyline.

Yet, I have found myself overwhelmed to the point of tears. Consumed by the logistics of how to afford daycare for three...or how to afford not working at all...consumed by the thought of three in diapers...nursing two at a time...overwhelmed on days Henry has decided that whining is his favorite mode of communication, scared at the transition of one to three, details, details, details...it is never ending. I made lists. I read books. I spent hours on the internet. I tried to find the solution. A quick fix. Self help.

I forgot my brokenness. I forgot my insufficiency. I forgot that not only am I not Super Woman, I am not supposed to be. I forgot that I have to cling to Him at every step of the way. I forgot that with God all things are possible.

I forgot that I am still under construction.

And for that, I am forever thankful.

5 comments:

Mike and Rachel said...

This was such a great post for me to read. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Serenity Now said...

oh wow - so well written! Everyone should read this post when we're feeling overwhelmed...it's a great reminder of the bigger picture :)
(you can do this girl - you're an amazing mother, those babies are blessed to have you)

Joanie said...

Wow, Jeannett. Moved to the point of tears, here. What you said is so true.

joy said...

okay, i so agree about that saying that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. i don't like it when people say that, either. what wisdom came from that pastor. your sentiments are so true and Godly and beautifully written. i, too was moved and encouraged by your words today. thanks! (and give that beautiful belly a pat for me.)

hugmom said...

I couldn't help but think of a post I wrote for the Sojourner's Journal way back last June when I spoke about that very phrase - "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." That's a lie (straight from the pit of hell!) - He always gives us more than we can handle so we are relying on Him. Here's the link to the post: http://slowomenofgrace.blogspot.com/2008/05/too-much-to-handle.html
You have another (wonderful) opportunity to trust the Lord - boy, is He going to "grow you up! :)"
Debbi Weeks