Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Self Worth & a 10 year HS Reunion

It's almost here. Only 5 weeks away. Our ten year high school reunion. Remember, Andy and I went to the same high school, so it's for both of us. Are we going? Not sure. It's expensive, and while I want to go, I'm not sure I want to go THAT bad. But that's not the point of this post.

Last night Andy and I watched some of the Olympic softball game. With star pitcher, Jennie Finch. That we went to high school with. Yeah, you know, not only a 3 time Olympic gold medal winner, but argubly the best softball pitcher IN THE WORLD. Ever.

It's surreal to see an old high school friend on television (she was on Apprentice last season, in Sports Illustrated, and a Gatorade commercial...). Okay, I'm not going to pretend we were BFF, but we knew each other. Talked. Heck, she even wrote a couple of paragraphs in my yearbook. (Should pawn that off on ebay...just KIDDING).

So what'd you do today? Ah, nothing, just played in Beijing...and you? Right.

As I randomly clicked away, I kept coming upon other classmates who are now quite succesful.

There's Brianna...who didn't end up making the Olympic team (for track or something), but she was in the running. She's modeled for Ralph Lauren, been in Nike ads, and who knows what else.

There's Jasmine. Who not only has an uber-successful wedding photography business, but is now traveling the country speaking at some kind of national conference thing. I don't know what it is, but it looks really impressive.

Look, I'm sure we graduated with a few crackheads and girls who have four babies from four different daddies. But the point is, that I felt a twinge of loserness after being at these girls' sites. Here they are, semi-famous, gorgeous, and altogether successful. I feel like a bit of a schmuck here in Santa Maria. And I feel the beginnings of self pity creeping in, with a touch of envy...

...until my little boy crawls up on the couch next to me, looks up and grins with his big gap teeth at me. All feelings of inadequacy rush out and I realize that *this* is my success and my fabulousness. It doesn't matter if I never make it onto the cover of Sports Illustrated, or if I ever sell out venues so that people can listen to me talk...I have the wide eyed attention and love of one little boy, and I'm totally okay with that.


cee.fabee. said...

I'm not planning on going. Aaron's 10 year reunion was two weeks ago. We didn't go to that one either. Anyway, he keeps asking me if I am "sure" I don't want to go. I have to keep reminding him that (unlike him) I wasn't cool and didn't have many friends....so......we're not going. Though, I could easily change my mind. :-)

Kristen Borland said...

amen, girl!

i went to my reunion. mixed feelings. fun to see a lot of old friends. some weird left over high school behavior in others. combine all that with some serious drunkenness from others. but still, it was fun, and i'm glad i went, but i didn't stay all that late...

Mary Kay said...

You didn't mention Melanie Nyema the singer. She went to Hollywood on the last American Idol, but I never saw her after that. She said she was singing backup for Taylor Hicks.

Nice save at the end of your post. The most important job you will ever have is raising a good God-fearing human being.

I went to my reunions and never regretted going. I had fun and it was good to see lots of people and see how they had turned out.

Rachel Slagle said...

i didn't go to mine, like you said it was a bit too expensive and i too felt a bit "unworthy." there were a few people who i would have liked to see and for that i do have a bit of regret for not going. maybe i will go to the next one... yikes - that will be the 20 year one!!

i didn't realize you guys had so many "famous" people in your class - i knew about jennie and jasmine (did you know she also co-wrote a book?) but i didn't know about brianna or melanie. that's cool :)

sarah said...

I glanced through a few of brianna's blog posts (which i really enjoyed, btw) and noticed that she mentioned how her goals of, "wanting to be married by 25 and having a baby by 28, haven't been met." So, hey, you may not have buns of steel like brianna, but you've got the love of a sweet baby boy. :)

Amber said...

I can't believe you went to school with Jasmine! I randomly have her blog in my Google reader.

Anyway...I say go to your reunion if you know some of your friends will be there. You will definitely have fun if your friends are there. :-)

Liz Anderson said...

I can't believe that I'm not on your list of amazing beautiful women! My self worth was just fine until I read your blog!

Ha, actually my self worth is very healthy. You should totally come to the reunion. If you don't, who will I have to share looks with all night. I figured, I would work one half of the room, you would work the other half and the real fun would be telling stories later in the evening.

If that doesn't convince you that you are going, this will: what is A.H. really up to? wink

sue d. said...

Just think how jealous your classmates will be when they photos of Henry! Not that that's our goal: to make others jealous! But I bet it gives you an "in" to speak of God's way in your life - and perhaps, a chance to share His grace. Just a thought.

joy said...

okay, so i clicked on the links of your old classmates and i can see where you're coming from. but, i agree with sue and i love the ending of your blog post. i think that if you feel you're living the life that God wants you to live, you can go in confidence and be truly happy for classmates who are living their dreams. besides, you look great and i'm sure you'll be met with surprised looks that you just had a baby (a year ago.) that's always an ego boost when people can't believe you've had a baby.

Joyful Weddings & Events said...

So crazy that you went to school with Jasmine. I work with her a bunch- she is one of my favorite people. And, yes, definitely has gotten huge in the wedding photography world.

I totally relate to you- I went to a performing arts high school, so at my 10 year reunion, everyone will be talking about who is on broadway, who is in what movie, who is directing what. My best friend and I always joke about how we will be the ones who are like, "we're married... have kids. yep. that's about all". But I remind myself that this is the life I wanted and I am so thankful that I am not living the life that all of those people are- constantly dealing with rejection, putting off having a family, etc. I'll go to mine and admire what my friends have done while being thankful for where I am. Especially when I hear about all of those who have been trying to make it big for 10 years and are failing miserably, waiting tables and not moving on with their lives :)